Alicia and I recently visited our four grandkids in Larchmont, NY. My granddaughter Caroline is 13 and seems live on texting. She sends something like 200 (or more) text messages to her friends each day, seven days a week. That totals over 6,000 messages a month. Thank god my daughter Jill and son-in-law Paul have her on an unlimited text plan. At $.20/text (as some plans charge), that level of texting would ring up a bill of over $1,200.
I’ve seen reports that some ‘power users’ will send in excess of 10,000 text messages a month. That averages out to around 20 messages per waking hour. When you take away normal activities (like eating, homework, sports, etc.) the rate is much higher.
It wasn’t long ago that you didn’t have text messaging. Most adults over 30 never did any text messaging when they grew up. The talked on the phone or met in person. Now, talking a lot has been replaced by texting a lot. Why?
There are a number of reasons why kids are drawn in to doing a lot of text messaging which are many of the same reasons that we are drawn as adults into texting. First, there’s a sense of emergency compared to, say, email which is an asynchronous communication process (sending and receiving are not connected). Texting typically creates a synchronous connection between two people – they are connected in real time. It’s the mobile version of instant messaging (IM).
When a text message arrives, there’s usually some indicator – either audio tone or ‘pop up’ display on the handheld. That in itself becomes an alert that calls for attention. If you then return the text, you are sending an alert back to the other person which creates a higher sense of immediacy in the originator of the message sequence. That sequence results in two people feeling a sense of ‘need to reply now’ which often can continue for a number of text messages going back and forth.
Because text messages are limited to 160 characters per message (most systems now simply string them together when you type over 160 characters), the messages tend to happen rather quickly, especially when the person uses coding to shorten the sequence such as laughing out loud (LOL), see you later (ltr), etc. Sometimes, it takes an effort to stop the texting exchange as the other person has a LOT to say and is trying to use texting to carry out a long conversation.
On top of the feeling that each message is an alert, and the sequence is a real-time communication, there’s the cultural factor that plays into the process. Young kids tell other kids how many text messages they are sending. There’s a cultural norm that’s created where texting is what you’re supposed to do. And, when kids carry on a texting sequence with four or five others at the same time, you can see why they are sending out hundreds of messages a day.
Yesterday, Alicia and I drove by the pool at Chastain Park (to park there and take a walk with our miniature dachshund Fritzie). I pointed out two girls who were standing next to each, both leaning up against the hood of a car, with phones in the air texting while listening to the iPod in their own world. Kids see other kids doing that and think that’s the way they want to be which feeds the process further.
Texting has created a new kind of interaction between people. It’s gone from slow, thoughtful conversation (“Little House on the Prairie”) to “Valley Talk” – fast verbal conversations with local lingo and slang to “Texting” – fast interaction between two people in very short text sequences. The effect is that the two people interacting via text feel as if they are building their relationship. When these kids get together today in person (vs. 10 years ago) they talk in shorter sound bites – more like the sequence which reflects their texting.
I’m not worried that texting is going to decrease the ability for kids to talk to each other as long as kids spend time talking in person to other kids and adults. My only recommendation to parents is don’t allow your kids to use texting as a way to prevent having a real, live relationship with someone else. And, sit down with them frequently and have a normal, thoughtful conversation. And, make sure you talk about no texting in unsafe situations like driving (see Inside Mobile, Jan. 27, 2010).
It was interesting to watch Caroline during the conversation last week go from “Yah”, “OK” & “Sure” to “Yes, I watch ‘Modern Family’ too – it’s hilarious.” Kids are going to text but it’s important as parents to help them learn how to talk and build relationships that will drive their entire adult life.
Gotta go … Caroline just sent a text.
Written By:
J. Gerry Purdy, Ph.D.
Principal Analyst
Mobile & Wireless
MobileTrax LLC
gerry.purdy@mobiletrax.com
404-406-5309
Disclosure Statement: From time to time, I may have a direct or indirect equity position in a company that is mentioned in this column. If that situation happens, then I’ll disclose it at that time.